Frustration

This section was incredibly dense and I struggled to understand anything from the text. If anything, it seemed like this section was just repeating previously mentioned material. Krishna repeats a bunch of stuff about Brahmin being the beginningless root of all things and that there is nothing without Brahmin. Perhaps it is my general frustration and anxiety bleeding over from graduate school applications, but I became unreasonably frustrated with trying to divine meaning from the obscure words of Krishna. It reminds of reading The Analects; I remember learning that Confucius wrote in brief, metaphorical language because the material he had to write on was very scarce. Thus, when he would write a confusing aphorism, his students would ask what it meant and he could explain it to them in more detail. This feels very similar; I cannot seem to understand any new information here and it almost seems like I need an interpreter to derive any meaning from the text.

There was no class last Thursday, so I used that time to work on graduate school applications. Further, my other Yoga class was cancelled on Monday, so I haven’t had a formal class in almost a week. I had to do a lot of outside practice to make up for it.

This outside practice was stressful; it has become very difficult for me to do anything but stress about application deadlines and berate myself for not starting earlier. From there, it just becomes a cycle of getting more and more frustrated with myself and I see anything that isn’t working on an application – even things like homework or yoga practice – as an inefficient way to utilize my time. There’s been a lot of mental turmoil recently. That said, I still made an effort to practice yoga, it just wasn’t the relaxing/freeing experience it was a few weeks ago. Sinus issues made me feel lightheaded/too much pressure in my head during some poses, so I ended up doing a lot of Warrior, Mountain and Tree poses. In addition to these poses, I did a lot of seated stretching and those funny toe/hand hugs to stretch the toes. It didn’t really clear my sinuses, but it did feel good. I tried to relax and destress with savasana, but my mind kept wandering and I couldn’t keep my thoughts under control.